Wednesday, 27 January 2010
INK: A pirate's life for me!
this has to be the most bizarre thing I've drawn so far.
Once upon a time, there was a pirate lady called The Bad Wench, who was feared by all in the Seven Seas. Not only was she called that way because she was bad and a wench, but also because she had the very nasty habit of playing necromancer with her crew whenever something ill happened to them (as dying, for example)
During the same days of this woman's dreadful reign of terror, there was another pirate, almost as vile and hated as the previously mentioned excuse of a lady. This man forced others to call him The Improver, for he was certain there was nothing he couldn't, well, improve. With some tinkering here and there. And some bolts. And rope. And whatever there could be at hand.
As this improving of his also extended to his crew and whoever happened to be near, plus a very very painful process, he was avoided at all costs by everyone who knew him.
Considering he was flashy as hell, he was widely known.
These two persons not only shared terrible reputations of their own, but also a rivalry that had turned so annoying to both of them that they decided to be adults about it and meet face to face to discuss the situation.
Many drinks later, they found themselves waking up in the same bed and married. Taking into account that the path of the pirate was lonely with just dead people or screaming people around, they accepted their new bond as an acceptable solution to their problem; their highly narcissistic personalities internally thinking that the other was lucky of having found such a fortunate match as themselves.
Oddly enough, it was a fortunate match indeed. The Improver met her living-dead crew, and a world of potential opened up before him. No more complaining people screaming whenever he wanted to attach a new limb on them, no more whimpering!
And the Bad Wench could finally stopped worrying about how to find a new crew when they started rotting. It was blissful.
Right then, enjoying the advantages the other brought into their lives, it could be said that they even fell a little bit in love.
Just a little.
As the tides went by the Improved Zombies became the thing legends are made of, and thus is how we know the story today.
(Fortunately for all, no children blessed that marriage)